My Story

For twenty years I let ‘Good Girl Belief’ caused by a traumatic childhood rule my life. I was nine years old when I lost my sister in a tragic caraccident which I witnessed along with my father and brother. Our family collapsed in many ways, after which I lost all sense of safety.

I built an armor of protection around me to be able to cope. Shutting down was my survival mechanism: sucking it up and just doing what is expected. It was my safety net, to have others approve of me.

Over the years I developed an eating disorder, IBS, depression and in the end, at the age of 35, mother of two small kids, a state of complete burnout. My survival system crashed because I just could not force myself any longer to keep going in the same way I always had.

I was scared to death for the alternative, but I couldn't go on like this any longer, I felt helpless, tired, had chronic IBS, always swimming upstream with that little voice in my head “You have to do better, you have to do more… you have to be perfect, pleasing, being nice, giving, approved…. or otherwise…”
I was exhausted.

I came to realize that only by lowering the armor could the wounds of my past heal. It was tough, because I fundamentally missed the most important tool that was needed for healing: confidence and trust that this was even available for me. All I knew was self-doubt, self-shaming and self-hatred.

But I took the plunge. I stepped out from behind my wall, and feelings of panic, sadness and shame all came washing over me, when for the first time in my life I went into psychotherapy. I improved a lot in no time, because I had never even talked with someone through all that had happened.

I gained so much insight but while I could understand the problems I had in a rational way, I still felt there was just a thick layer between me and my emotions.

But then I stumbled on a video of Marisa Peer talking on some Mind Valley event. It deeply resonated with every fiber in my being when she said: ‘You are not from your parents, you came through them. You are meant to be on this planet for otherwise you would not be here. Life itself, the Universe, God, it carried you into this world which means there is a space for you, just the way that you are. You were born enough, and you always will be enough. You don’t have to earn that, and you can never lose it.’

What she talked about and the Rapid Transformational (hypno)Therapy sessions I went through shortly thereafter changed me in such a short and profound way that I  felt like I was handed a clean slate. A new beginning at living life on my own terms. I decided to start from scratch, and went back to University where I got a Bachelor and then a Masters’ Degree in Clinical Psychology. I worked in a mental health clinic and of course I followed the RTT training at the Marisa Peer School.

At 43 I am happier, calmer and more stable than ever. I rely on myself and when a shitstorm comes towards me, I can rely on one thing that I know for sure: I will support, love and hold space for myself unconditionally.

​And if I can do this, so can you!
I know what it's like to no longer believe in light at the end of the tunnel. I know what it's like to hate your body, struggle with food, and always be in pain somewhere. I know better than anyone that critical voice that pushes you way past the limit. 

It is my mission to reconnect other women with this natural trust, so that you are no longer exhausted, anxious, depressed or shameful because of toxic beliefs that are driving you without you realizing it.

During the trajectory with me you learn to have a healthy conversation with yourself every day and how to become your own friend, coach and supporter again, who always supports you with everything that comes with this: the good, the bad and the ugly.

I have seen this become reality so many times - starting with myself - that I absolutely dare to say: You can do this too!